A Mother's stepski bozur
Mark Mirsky s memoir A Mother s Steps A Meditation on Silence reminds us that every family has something to untangle to learn to face All of us who grew up in a family would do well if we are to understand ourselves fully to someday undertake the sort of exploration that Mirsky makes here drawing upon letters diaries albums and interviews with surviving family members Using such clues Mirsky searches out a deeper acquaintance with the complex young mother he adored as a child the still paradoxical woman who died before he was old enough to truly know her as an adult Now in his early seventies a husband father and grandfather a successful writer and college professor Mirsky is able to dig into the archeology and the psyche of family in the way a child can t imagine doing It is not an easy journey that Mirsky undertakes In researching his mother and her memory he mixes up a potent cocktail of love misery and yearning Opportunities are forever lost yet grace is belatedly located His own memory of his mother he ponders resembles that created by Tolstoy in his book Childhood At first Mirsky who came across that book as he was writing his own marvels at the author s ability to recall such vivid moments of his own mother But he learns that Tolstoy could have had no such memories his mother died when he was two Mirsky understands that for Tolstoy as for himself there is a sense of loss not just for the mother but for the child s life that had sought to intertwined itself with hers Mirsky s mother Ruth is present during his own childhood and he shows her at least in part as a middle class American matron living in Boston in the years following World War II She is a college graduate in social work a capable normal and conventional woman similar to those featured in the women s magazines of the time But she and the family she came from was far complicated than any glossy post war narratives could allow Her love for him for example though obvious and enduring also contained much that was hurtful apparently full of disdain I love you she would snap at him an insecure adolescent mess But she would invariably add I don t like you It was one of many remarks Mirsky writes that seemed deliberately to put me at a distance and to confirm her sense that I was a mistake that she somehow had to bear His father was a Boston politician given to crushing embraces when his son had pleased him If his father was angered it was over in an hour or two He is a man who has seen horrors starvation in Pinsk his uncle a Jewish leader murdered his mother dying before his eyes on the boat to America Yet he is a buoyant writing in a birthday message that the author now comes across a Mirsky is never embarrassed But his mother s angers were long slow burns a silent stubborn fury until she made me feel not just anger but disgust and resignation It would be weeks or seemed to be until the boy was graced again with a smile His search primarily is to discover the source of his mother s enduring melancholy the malaise that flavored her relationship with him and the world One place he searches for glimpses of mood is in photographs Here for example is the young woman who will become his mother in a tight fitting dress and smoking a cigarette She leans against an automobile and in her own hand has labeled the picture Sadie Thompson This remarkable find however is a fresh puzzle does Ruth compare herself to Somerset Maugham s young prostitute trapped in the South Pacific in the short story Rain Or does she a young woman interested in the theater simply wish to emulate glamorous Joan Crawford who played the role of Sadie Thompson in the 1932 movie Another photograph suggests questions than it answers Here she poses with her father and one of her many sisters both girls grimacing as if in pain It is a rare picture Ruth s father seems to a man about whom the less said the better and his mother is generally silent about him There are no pictures of him in Ruth s own album Of Ruth s mother there are pictures and stories She emerges as a powerful matriarch running the family business confident that she can do most things better than her hapless husband who seems to figuratively and a times literally disappear Is this perhaps is a key to melancholy the all powerful mother the missing in action father the many many siblings some of whom raised those younger some of wom suffered even deeper melancholy than Ruth ending their own lives There is grief and suffering in this exploration and a sense of pervading loss But there are bittersweet moments too Mirsky for example comes across a packet of his own youthful letters to his mother carefully preserved The find he writes contradicted the myth that I still half belief that I was a disappointment The fact that she has saved every letters shows that She saw something about me I did not but I was too anxious in awe or her to ask Kindle Edition Today is January 5 2019 Mark Jay Mirsky s A Mother s Steps A Meditation on Silence is the first great book I read in 2019 I m thankful that I read it while my mother is alive I don t want the book to end because it is beautifully written By beautifully I mean a level of intensity and anticipation maintained through the pages accomplished by both the writer himself and the original letters photos of his mother There are essentially two writers in and through this book. A Mother's stepscope One is writing about the other The mother is no longer with the son The son is no doubt a master writer Just look at the emotional crescendo captured in one sentence on page 230 It seems as if the Hebrew taboo her own deep sense of rectitude the equal affection in which I regarded my father and his generosity all held her in a frame of idealization without the murderous or erotic implications of the Greek myth Despite this the mother turns out to be the better writer and speaker I m glad the master writer does so much to make room for his mother to be heard without reducing himself to a recorder or collapsing the matrix of his mother to an incredibly funny or sexy woman This is a difficult book to write precisely when it appears effortless. Book a mother's steps author This is also a difficult book to read because it contains truths that are too painful and too sad I stick to the last page only because I m a reader with a high tolerance for emotional pain and sadness I don t think I ll read this book again of course Not because it brings to me misery But because the book is so good that it has fulfilled itself as a play than as a book The author has a background in theater and a mother who could play personas since young I have no trouble engaging with the stories and I have no trouble understanding what I pay attention to So I know that there is no reason for me to read this book for a second time and this is the highest respect I can pay to a great non fiction book Many return to favorable or important books again and again I know a female philosophy professor who would read Augustine s Confessions every Christmas This book is my favorite and it will prove important for me But because it is not just words I read but also a life presented in the form of a play I have lived guided by the author I do not plan to go back again unless I need to quote from it someday. A mother's steps ebook online There is an odd feeling that every time I pick up this book I might be disturbing the happiness of something or someone Is this an imposter syndrome unintentionally planted by the author If I am not that close to the people in the book maybe I shouldn t care too much To be fair the author never raises this aspect and the book seems inviting all the way It is just that the seriousness and intimacy somehow makes me want to keep a respectful distance by not reading it unless I absolutely need to. A mother's steps book review Still I don t wish the book to end despite the emotional pain and sadness I wish the book could go on especially as it reaches the end There are things I wish to know For example how does mother fall in love with father The author attempted to reconstruct the process from the evidence he had but I longed for a robust story where I could see clearly how mother made her decisions I feel that the author knows than what he tells me The book has to end somewhere But the understanding of his mother has no end because there will always be new secrets that can be discovered about his mother. A mother's shame rosie goodwin This book is it seems not about understanding solely One writer not only writes about the other but also pleads for the other It looks like the son is making a two fold apology for his mother A first apology from the son to his mother for the times he hurt her and a second apology from the son to a mysterious third audience on behalf of his mother The first apology gives this book affection and the second gives it urgency. Book a mother's steps series The book takes long to write The son waits over 30 years after the loss of his mother to publish this Imagine standing up to a sense of urgency unresolved for over 30 years. Book a mother's steps review Without giving spoilers the author makes two golden observations One on page 205 about the Oedipus story the other on page 200 about a sentence from his mother on the relationship with his then girlfriend Rarely does a book contain one golden observation about humanity The book contains two The book ends with the question what do you see of you in me The word you refers to his mother On that note I take the author as retreating to a private space or time where he is once again with his mother I have only good wishes for them I wish there will be a time when the mother shall answer the son s puzzles By this wish I join the purpose of this book whatever the author takes that to be. Book a mother's steps book summary Now I m on my way to talk with my mom Kindle Edition Mark Mirsky s A Mother s Steps A Meditation on Silence is so personal that there were moments during my reading when I felt I was intruding on a conversation so private that I should turn away And yet I couldn t I was completely pulled in not only by the story but by the intensity of the relationship between Mirsky and his mother As he attempts to uncover the details of his mother s life he works like an archeologist at a dig site sifting through old letters and photographs for clues concerning who his mother was He interviews his father his mother s siblings and their children Mirsky s older cousins some of whom were his mother s contemporaries. A mother's steps ebook online One would expect this sort of treatment by an author who had never actually met his mother or who had only known her as a small child One of the things that makes this search unique is that Mirsky s mother actually brought him up In fact she didn t die until Mirsky was nearly 29 At times she seems so cold and unresponsive that I found myself wanting to yell at her to say something And then I would learn about her childhood and realize she was giving her children as much as she could. Book a mother's steps review It s a very haunting picture he paints of her all the so because it is so full of love His search for his silent mother leaves him standing so naked before the reader that we can t help but admire his bravery This is a stark portrait of a very deep woman who despite Mirsky s loving attempts takes much of her depth to the grave Kindle Edition
A Mother's Steps: A Meditation on Silence By Mark Jay Mirsky |
English |
292 |
Kindle Edition |
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