Flight Instructions for the Commitment Impaired By Nicola Harwood Paperback 1987915143 9781987915143 Flight Instructions for the Commitment Impaired “Wanted: lesbian couple to foster wonderful eleven year old African American boy with gender identity issues.” Meet Antwan. Not only has he got gender issues, he’s severely emotionally disturbed, severely demanding and, as he puts it, “born to argue.” In the late nineties, Nicola Harwood and her girlfriend moved to San Francisco in order to be at the epicentre of queer culture. Shortly after arriving, they encountered an ad posted in the SF Bay Times looking for lesbian foster parents. Impulsively, they decided to answer the ad and offer to foster Antwan, an eleven year old transgender child* who had been living in group homes since the age of six. Suffering from post traumatic stress, numerous disabilities and behaviour issues, Antwan turns out to be not only a severely challenging child, but also an irrepressibly honest and funny one. The sex positive butch/femme couple, new to foster parenting but confident in their skills and experience as queers, start introducing Antwan to their gay world–including Gay Pride in the Castro, shopping for female clothing among the flash and extravagance of their Latino neighbourhood thrift stores, accompanying him to the queer youth dance club and supporting the emergence of his female identity. But being queer is only part of who Antwan is, and the couple are soon faced with the reality that his behaviours may be than they can handle. They become a part of the “system,” working with over burdened social workers, therapists, group home workers, special needs school teachers, psychiatrists and foster care agencies, all trying to help Antwan succeed outside the group home. Antwan, however, is oblivious to the massive amount of funding and attention being paid to him and just wants the couple to buy him outfits and watch him perform as Britney Spears singing “…Baby, One More Time.” While Antwan is introduced to the gay world of San Francisco, the white couple is introduced to his black world of Oakland. As the relationship develops, members of Antwan’s birth family, many of whom he has not seen or heard from in years, begin to emerge. It turns out that Antwan isn’t the only big queer in his family. One of his sisters is a baby dyke, and his troubled mother, who shows up when Antwan is thirteen, wears the strut of an old school butch. Outrageous, sad and very funny, Flight Instructions for the Commitment Impaired follows the couple as they attempt to build a relationship with Antwan and his world. As the three start to connect across an abyss of trauma and abuse, a relationship develops that challenges each of their notions of race, family and commitment. *Note about pronouns: Antwan has asked that we use male pronouns when referring to the time before she transitioned at the age of seventeen.

Flight instructions for the commitment impairedkit

Wanted lesbian couple to foster wonderful eleven year old African American boy with gender identity issues Meet Antwan Not only has he got gender issues he s severely emotionally disturbed severely demanding and as he puts it born to argue In the late nineties Nicola Harwood and her girlfriend moved to San Francisco in order to be at the epicentre of queer culture Shortly after arriving they encountered an ad posted in the SF Bay Times looking for lesbian foster parents Impulsively they decided to answer the ad and offer to foster Antwan an eleven year old transgender child who had been living in group homes since the age of six Suffering from post traumatic stress numerous disabilities and behaviour issues Antwan turns out to be not only a severely challenging child but also an irrepressibly honest and funny one The sex positive butch femme couple new to foster parenting but confident in their skills and experience as queers start introducing Antwan to their gay world including Gay Pride in the Castro shopping for female clothing among the flash and extravagance of their Latino neighbourhood thrift stores accompanying him to the queer youth dance club and supporting the emergence of his female identity But being queer is only part of who Antwan is and the couple are soon faced with the reality that his behaviours may be than they can handle They become a part of the system working with over burdened social workers therapists group home workers special needs school teachers psychiatrists and foster care agencies all trying to help Antwan succeed outside the group home Antwan however is oblivious to the massive amount of funding and attention being paid to him and just wants the couple to buy him outfits and watch him perform as Britney Spears singing Baby One More Time While Antwan is introduced to the gay world of San Francisco the white couple is introduced to his black world of Oakland As the relationship develops members of Antwan s birth family many of whom he has not seen or heard from in years begin to emerge It turns out that Antwan isn t the only big queer in his family One of his sisters is a baby dyke and his troubled mother who shows up when Antwan is thirteen wears the strut of an old school butch Outrageous sad and very funny Flight Instructions for the Commitment Impaired follows the couple as they attempt to build a relationship with Antwan and his world As the three start to connect across an abyss of trauma and abuse a relationship develops that challenges each of their notions of race family and commitment Note about pronouns Antwan has asked that we use male pronouns when referring to the time before she transitioned at the age of seventeen Flight Instructions for the Commitment ImpairedGripping and raw funny and true I am so grateful this book exists 9781987915143 4. Flight instructions for the commitment impaired kindle unlimited 5What an amazingly funny and insightful read 9781987915143 This is a memoir that is unflinching and not for those gentle readers who avoid reading about pain close up and personal It is also hilariously funny often in the same gorgeously written sentence I never understood PTSD as well as I do now after reading about a traumatized eleven year old boy in transition undergoing it making him her a very difficult person to live with which the two staunchly determined foster parents the author and her partner try to do try their very best which is often not effective enough of course This is a book because of the quality of the writing and the humbleness and growing self awareness of the writer let s call it what it is the hard won wisdom of the writer which offers readers generous access to the world of foster children to LGBT communities to the beautiful depictions of neighbourhood families who take everyone in and feed them and show them love who care about the struggles their neighbours are going through I d highly recommend it to anyone who has worked in group homes or questioned their own sexuality ies to parents who want to keep a dialogue going with their own LGBT sons or daughters and vice versa and it would be a good read for those who grew up rough and tough and ornery who skidded down a long bumpy road of drug and alcohol fuelled escapism It offers any thoughtful reader not prone to knee jerk judgmental homophobic tendencies much to empathize with and much to reckon with The writing is simply outstanding a book without a dull sentence not a single histrionic or purple prose dud in the entire memoir Kudos to the author and the editor If life were fair and we all know it s not this book would win about seventeen North American awards It is not a spoiler to mention that the author of this first book is an established theatre artist playwright and actor with acclaimed works produced on several continents 9781987915143 As much as I enjoyed reading this I don t think memoir as a genre is really my thing It feels intensely voyeuristic especially given the deeply personal nature of the story I have all these questions what is Antwan Tavia s or anyone s real name What s everybody doing now and I don t know if I have any right to them But how could anyone read this and not have those questions They re invited by the nature of the work but I still feel like I m being nosey by wanting to know the answers This is the first memoir I ve read so I reserve the right to change my mind but I think it s too personal for me Also Harwood calls herself commitment impaired but her book contains flashes of the most beautiful writing ever committed to paper Lover stretch your lizard skin beneath the California sun Rub the scent of sage into your palms Find the ocean and live there We are both restless women built of sky and leaning wind You will find no one beside you but I am everywhere you are. EBook Flight Instructions for the Commitment impaired skin From the dark and smoky north I will loose into the night words A thousand small grey birds Lifting Pay attention to your dreams What you dream the first night in a new house will come true, Book flight instructions for the commitment impaired I spend all night dreaming about you 9781987915143

Flight Instructions for the Commitment Impaired By Nicola Harwood

1987915143

9781987915143

English

240

Paperback

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